Danny Dyer says boys not brought up to be men and fear being ‘too cuddly’
By Lauren Del Fabbro, Press Association Entertainment Reporter
Rivals star Danny Dyer has said boys are not brought up to be men and that there is a fear of being “too cuddly or affectionate”.
The 48-year-old, known for playing pub landlord Mick Carter on BBC soap EastEnders, stars in the upcoming second series of Dame Jilly Cooper’s bonkbuster Rivals, reprising his role as businessman Freddie Jones.
The character is a stark departure from a lot of the tougher roles Dyer has played in the past, including troublemaker Moff in Human Traffic and hardman Tommy Johnson in 2004’s The Football Factory.
Speaking to The Guardian, he said despite playing a few, he was never a football hooligan – with people perceiving him to be tough when in reality he is “quite a gentle person” and a “sensitive soul”.
He said: “I like masculinity in men and taking the piss out of each other, but it’s also important to be able slip into that feminine side and open up about your feelings.
“We’re brought up as young boys to be boys, but not men. In other words, many men never grow up. You have to find out how to be a decent man.
“We’re so frightened of being too cuddly or affectionate or crying.”
Dyer, who struggled with addiction over the years, said learning mindfulness at a rehabilitation centre helped him rewire his brain and learn how to cope with anxiety.
He said: “It’s about being able to sit with your own thoughts and feelings, and that’s something I’m very comfortable with now. I think they should teach kids this at school.
“If you talk about meditation to most people, they laugh. They go, ‘I haven’t got time. What, you’re sitting here going, Mmmmmm?’ But it’s all about breathing.
“Oxygen is a f******* healer. It’s important. Now and again when I have these moments of anxiety, I just breathe.”
Dyer has three children with his wife, Joanne Mas, including Love Island star Dani (29), Sunnie (19) and Arty (12) – the youngest of which he worries about as he grows up in an Artificial Intelligence (AI)-powered world.
He said: “We’re regressing. Back in the day, if you didn’t know something you couldn’t just punch it into a phone and find out the answer.
“It just makes us f****** lazy, you know what I mean? It’s detrimental for society and for our brains.
“I do as much as I can with him. We go out on our bikes together. And I’ve taught him to play chess. I have to let him win, because he’s such a bad loser.
“Now the kids sit indoors on a beautiful day playing games. There’s no incentive to go out now, and knock on your mate’s door. They can communicate in their headphones all day long in their house, shooting shit, and this is what we have to adapt to as parents.”
