Man (28) jailed for rape of his then-partner while she was sleeping

Eimear Dodd

A man who raped his then-partner while she was sleeping has been jailed for six years.

The 28-year-old pleaded to one count of rape in the early hours of November 18th 2021, at an address in Co Wexford.

The Wexford man cannot be identified to protect the woman's right to anonymity. He has no previous convictions.

Reading her victim impact statement during a previous hearing, the woman said she was “meant to be excited” as it was coming up to a big celebration in her life, but couldn't as she felt “all over the place” following the rape.

She said she was in shock afterwards and wondered what she'd done wrong.

Nightmares

She said she feels she will “never feel like a true woman again” as “he took so much from me the night he raped me” and she feels she can never trust a man again.

She described experiencing nightmares, no longer feeling safe and asking: “What I did wrong, why did he rape me?”

She said she was initially scared to tell her family, and it took her nine months to build up the courage to tell anyone.

She said it continues to affect her, and she knows “it will always be there and will never leave me”.

Imposing the sentence on Tuesday, Justice Paul Burns said the man “took advantage of his sleeping partner”, describing it as an “egregious breach of trust”.

He said the fact that the man and the woman were in an intimate relationship at the time was an aggravating factor, along with the effect on the woman.

Sentencing

The judge set a headline sentence of nine years, which he reduced to seven years, having considered the mitigation, including the man's guilty plea.

Justice Burns suspended the final 12 months of the sentence on strict conditions, including that the man is supervised for three years by the Probation Services post-release.

An investigating garda told Anne-Marie Lawlor, prosecuting, that the man pleaded several months in advance of a trial date and the guilty plea was accepted by the Director of Public Prosecutions on a full facts basis.

The court heard that the woman described the relationship as initially good, and the couple moved in together during the summer of 2021.

She said the man was locked out of the bedroom on a day between June and August 2021. He shouted at her, and when she unlocked the door after about 20 minutes, he put his hands over her face, then pushed her down onto the bed.

The man's hands were over her face, and the woman felt like she was suffocating. She pushed the man off, telling him to “f**k off”.

The couple's relationship deteriorated after this incident, the court heard.

On the night of November 17th 2021, she fell asleep after watching videos on her phone. The man was asleep beside her.

She fell asleep and later woke up to the man on top of her, pulling up her shorts.

She asked him what he was doing. He replied that he thought she was awake. She said she wasn't, and he apologised.

The woman got out of bed and went to the bathroom, where she noticed there was ejaculate.

She went back to the bedroom and confronted the man. He replied: “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it”.

She spent the night in the sitting room. He sent her a text apologising the next day but otherwise acted as if nothing had happened, and they didn’t speak about it.

Their relationship continued to deteriorate, ending in early August 2022, after which the woman made a complaint to gardaí.

During a phone conversation that month, the woman confronted the man.

He said he tried to wake her, and she was talking in her sleep. He said he kissed her, performed oral sex on her, then had sex with her.

She said, “you raped me”, and he replied: “yeah, I raped you”.

The woman put the phone on loudspeaker, and another person heard part of the conversation between her and the man, the court heard.

Text messages

There were also text messages in which the man admitted to raping the woman and apologised. In some of these messages, he said, “I didn't mean to rape you, sorry I should have woke you up” and “I did a bad thing, it's not love”.

The woman asked the man to say he'd raped her, and he replied, “yes, I raped you, it wasn't the right thing to do, sorry”.

When he was interviewed by gardaí, the man initially said the woman had been awake during consensual sex, then fell asleep and woke up.

He accepted sending messages to the woman in which he admitted raping her. The man also agreed that he understood it is an offence to have sex with someone while they are sleeping.

The investigating garda agreed with Tony McGillicuddy, defending, that the man was cooperative with the investigation, including letting gardai access his phone.

It was further accepted that the man described himself as a “rowdy thug” during interview and acknowledged he scared the woman in the preceding violent incident.

The court heard the man has some medical difficulties, a mild learning disability and ADHD.

McGillicuddy asked the court to take into account the contents of the probation and psychological reports.

He said his client acknowledges his wrongdoing and is assessed at low risk of re-offending.

Testimonials from the man's mother and partner were handed to the court. Counsel said the man's family are willing to support him.

The man has some work history and is currently on disability allowance. He has three children.

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can call the national 24-hour Rape Crisis Helpline at 1800-77 8888, access text service and webchat options at drcc.ie/services/helpline/ or visit Rape Crisis Help. In the case of an emergency, always dial 999/112.