Man (47) jailed for sexually assaulting his estranged wife while she was sleeping

Seán McCárthaigh

A man who sexually assaulted his estranged wife on two separate occasions while she was sleeping in her bed with her young children has been sentenced to prison for four years.

The 47-year-old father of two, who cannot be identified to protect the identity of his victims, pleaded guilty to two counts of sexual assault on his wife at their family home in Wicklow two years ago.

Detective Garda Catherine O’Rourke said the couple, who are both non-Irish nationals, had separated in January 2023 but they had both continued to live in the same house.

The witness told a sitting of Wicklow Circuit Criminal Court that the accused entered his wife’s bedroom without her permission where she was sleeping with their two very young children on the night of November 10th, 2023.

Det Garda O’Rourke said the woman woke up at one stage and had the feeling she was being touched in some way.

The woman said husband had remarked: “Sorry, I was horny” after she found him leaning over her before telling him to get out of her room.

The court heard that he had digitally penetrated his victim who reported the matter to gardaí the following day.

Det Garda O’Rourke said the woman also informed them that there had been another incident sometime earlier in March 2023 when she woke suddenly, while she was sleeping in bed with one of her children, to feel being touched on her skin under her nightdress.

She said the woman had screamed at her husband to get out of the room when she realised he had been touching her bum.

When arrested, Det Garda O’Rourke said the man claimed he had been in his wife’s bedroom and had lifted his daughter and had gotten an erection as he had placed her back in the bed.

She agreed with Mr Kelly that the accused was in denial about his offending but had cooperated with gardaí.

The court heard the defendant, who had six previous convictions for road traffic offences, only pleaded guilty after a trial had commenced last February as his wife was about to give evidence.

In an emotional victim impact during which she broke down repeatedly, the woman said she felt very unsafe and violated after the two incidents but she had nowhere to go and did not think the authorities would believe her.

The woman said her husband, from whom she has now filed for divorce, would not move out of the house after their separation.

“He would be remorseful for a few days and then say he did nothing wrong,” she recalled.

She said he would also accuse her of being difficult and dramatic and attempted to portray her as being promiscuous and a bad mother.

The woman said the second assault had devastated her life forever with her children still asking questions about their father.

She told the court that her main concern was to keep a family routine for her children despite her own personal feelings about their father.

The woman said she believed that after securing a protection order that it would protect her from any further attempt to hurt or scare her.

“I was very wrong,” she added before breaking out in tears.

She said her ex-husband continued to act brazenly in the house which would leave her whole body shaking and feeling “in survival moment every time.”

The woman said she could no longer sleep in the bedroom where the assault took place and would have to make up an excuse for her children why she was sleeping on the floor of their room.

The court heard that she stopped wearing make-up and nail polish and took to wearing long-sleeved clothing because she felt the need to hide and make herself invisible, while she also developed severe skin conditions from stress.

The woman said she had to take extended sick leave from her job after breaking down hysterically after returning to work several weeks after the second assault.

She described how she had developed thoughts of suicide and had made an actual plan to take her own life while her children were with their father.

“My children are the only reason I am still alive. They are the reason I didn’t do it,” she observed.

The woman also fought back tears as she explained her belief that her neighbours no longer invited her children on playdates because of gardaí calling to her house.

After a period of living elsewhere for a period, the woman said her ex-husband had returned to the house in January 2024 without her permission and refused to find alternative accommodation.

The court heard he subsequently began to live in his car which was parked in front of her house which made her feel she was under surveillance all the time.

The woman said what happened had also caused her great financial difficulties.

She again broke down as she explained how she tried to keep co-parenting her children after the assault for their sake, despite her not being able to talk to or be in the same space as her ex-husband.

The woman said his conviction came as a “massive relief” because she did not believe she would ever be truly remorseful for what he had done.

Judge John Martin sentenced the accused to four years in prison for the second sexual assault and 18 months for the first offence to run consecutively.

However, the judge said he would suspend the final 18 months of the sentence on condition that the defendant keep the peace for a period of two years after his release from prison and have no further contact with his wife without her express consent.

He said an aggravating factor in the case was how the accused had twice assaulted his wife in the same bed where his children were sleeping for his own “gratification or power trip.”

Noting the man was now on the sex offenders register, Judge Martin said his children were also secondary victims in the case, although he accepted the accused’s expression of remorse as genuine.