Laois woman, says: ‘I am not defined by COPD and it is not my sole focus’
Portlaoise woman Denise Croke has been living with COPD for the past ten years
COPD Support Ireland offers support for those living with and caring for someone with Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. They estimate that more than 380,000 people in Ireland are living with COPD despite the number of people with a diagnosis being closer to 110,000.
Spreading the word about COPD is an important part of COPD Support Ireland’s work, and with that, Denise Croke who was diagnosed with COPD in 2014, shared her story.
Like many others living with COPD, Denise experienced symptoms of COPD long before a diagnosis came. She experienced weight loss, shortness of breath and a constant tiredness.
She recalls: “By the time the diagnosis came, initially it was a relief. It wasn’t cancer, it wasn’t in my head and now I had a name for it. It could be cured. Couldn’t it?
“My relief changed to anxiety and depression when I realised that COPD was going to be with me for the rest of my life and that the limits I had been experiencing prior to my diagnosis might reduce, but would never fully leave me.
I was an active, sporty person and had never smoked, but suddenly, walking upstairs seemed unmanageable some days. Having a shower in the morning often meant I had to go back to bed for a while before I could get dressed. I had to learn a whole other language of medical terms.
“I began to feel very isolated because it was so hard to explain to people what the fatigue was like, what it felt like to feel my life had suddenly gotten smaller. I also found it very hard to tell people I wasn’t able to go through with plans for social events or meeting up, so I just stopped arranging them. I felt guilty not being able to do my share of house work or feeling like I wasn’t giving 100% in my job.
“A respiratory nurse at the hospital I was attending recommended a programme to me called Living Well, which I attended for six weeks. This gave me the space to share with other people how I was feeling – people who understood and who were living through the same experiences.
“I gained enough confidence from this programme to go to a gym and slowly began to build my fitness and stamina back up. Over time, I realised that an unforeseen and very welcome benefit was for my mental health.
“My outlook completely changed and instead of resenting the limitations I have, I found myself with a new gratitude for being able to do whatever I was able to do that day. I felt like I was taking back part of myself, and even though I was living with some limitations, I was still me. I have COPD, but it is not my whole identity.
“I know I need to monitor my health a bit more closely than other people, that I need to be a bit more careful with myself and that I have to keep good habits when it comes to my airway clearance, but I’ve now learned to accommodate these things into the rest of my life. So, I play tennis, I walk my dogs, I lift weights and I work full-time. I have COPD, but I am not COPD and it is not the sole focus of my day-to-day anymore.”
